I was chatting with a co-worker the week before Christmas when he asked me if I would be taking any time off then.  With a touch of wistfulness, I responded in the negative but followed up with, “But that’s okay, because I’ll be taking my leave later in January and going back to China.”

“Going back?”

A view of the Oriental Pearl Tower.  Shanghai.

Acknowledging the inaccuracy of my choice of words, I rephrased the statement by omitting that last word, but, looking back on this otherwise banal exchange, was it really an incorrect thing to say?  Among the overseas Chinese community (or, as I enjoy calling it, the Great Overseas Chinese Conspiracy – e.g., in ur math classes, trumpin ur inferior collective intellect, etc.), when we speak about making the trip to either the land of our birth or not-so-distant ancestral homeland, we never say that we are simply “going to China” (去中国).  Rather, we use a more particular phrase, 回国, which literally translates into “to return to one’s country.”  To journey to the motherland has always been to perform an act of homecoming; that I was born in the States, have spent my entire life in the West, and could – for a long time, anyway – speak more fluently about the French Revolution than the great upheaval that saw China transformed from dynastic empire to fitful republic never seemed to matter much in this calculation.

Sunset over Aimin Village.  Near Xuancheng, Anhui Province.

Thus, for the first time in over three and a half years, I am going home today.  That isn’t a very long time on paper, but, when I think about where I was in the summer of 2008 (fresh out of my first year at Georgetown, if I could believe that I was ever that young), compare that to where I am now, and think about everything that has happened in between, I feel like I’ve done at least a decade’s worth of ageing and growing in those years.  A return is long overdue.

The distinctive pine trees of Yellow Mountain, Anhui Province.

I’ve done a handful of two-month stays in the country, but this jaunt will be just two weeks long.  I am especially excited for it because this is the first time in my life that I will be marking the Chinese New Year in China itself, as it’s the first time since I was, oh, four years old that my existence is not under the dictates of the academic calendar – what a novel concept, the idea that I can go on holiday whenever I’d like (subject to office workload and accumulated leave, naturally)!  I have been warned by my mother, with whom I am travelling, that it will be filled with more food than I could possibly consume.  To that, I say: bah humbug.

Inside the Forbidden City.  Beijing.

There are, of course, also some anxieties involved.  My ability to speak Chinese has rather fallen into disrepair – the longer I go without stepping foot in the Mainland, the worse it gets – and, every time I go back, I’m always vaguely terrified that the natives will think I’m some kind of linguistically challenged cretin.  For all that living standards have improved dramatically in China within my lifetime, it still is a very, very different place from the United States, and I fear I have forgotten what it is like to actually be in the country.  Also, the jetlag is absolutely miserable – as in, twelve time zones’ worth of discombobulated biorhythms.  I am dreading it already.

The afterlife duties of a terracotta warrior and his steeds.  Near Xi’an, Shaanxi Province.

But these are all minor quibbles in the grand scheme of things.  This is a well-deserved holiday – no working vacation for me, thank you very much – and I will even be leaving my laptop at home, which feels like much greater a sacrifice than I know it to actually be.  This is a time to disconnect (from unessential things), reconnect (with family, history, and so forth), and reflect.  I’m keeping my personal possessions (relatively) simple: my Moleskine, two books, a manuscript of my novel to edit, erstwhile stuffed animals, my trusty iPod Classic, and a camera outfitted with a lightweight prime lens and two empty memory cards.  It does mean that I won’t blog again until I return in early February, but don’t worry: my absence from your internet lives will be over before you know it.

See you in a few weeks!